SO many of us are waiting or preparing and working behind closed doors hiding in wood sheds preparing and hoping it will be ready. It is so hard for a performer. This is what we are performers and lovers of the footlights. Truthfully most of the work and creation is done secretly and slowly and quietly. I struggle with terminal impatience and a hearty dose of I gotta do this NOOOOOWWWW! Wild horses reside in my heart and holding them in check is costly but sooo sooo necessary. I feel like a hypocrite writing this now. I want to go out and embarrass myself now. But not really, I want it to be right and I have a wonderful maestro who is most likely tearing his hair out with frustration holding me back. I am one of the lucky ones. I can trust my maestro - I know he is right and this is worth all of this agony. he is right and I know in my heart I have to do the work - all of it ans sop up the gravy before I dare show my face. No one says this kind of thing- because we are all supposed to be perfect with no prctice, spontaneously brilliant. I am sure that there are many brilliant moments for all of us, but stringing them all together in the right order of alternatives and exacting moments, this reckless seemingly spontaneous harmony, this credible danger - is what we must demand for ourselves. Back to the woodshed for me.